Right, you there? Can you hear me?

Yes.

Oh, you're quite quiet.

Yeah.

No, you're really quiet.

I know. Give me a sec.

No, you're really, really quiet.

Calm down.

I am calm.

Calm down and just give me a second.

Get a bit closer to the microphone.

I'm turning the goddamn microphone up. I've got a sock on top of it. It's complicated. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh my God.

Okay, that's a bit louder. Good.

Is it?

Yes.

I wanna know why you keep calling me and hanging up at 10 to 7 in the morning.

Right. I don't.

No, you do. This morning my phone was on fucking maximum volume. I'm in the doghouse.

Why are you in the doghouse?

Because I woke up the whole freaking family, didn't I?

Wait, you and the cat?

It was super loud. And John John.

Okay. Husband.

And husband.

Well, look, I'm sorry about that, but it isn't my fault. So you're probably a bit upset because this keeps on happening, doesn't it?

Like every morning.

Every morning. So what I thought, if we talk about this, maybe one of our listeners can tell me what's going wrong and how to stop it.

Are you seriously not taking responsibility for this?

Well, not really. I think it's Apple's fault, right? Let me tell you what I actually do, right?

I'm listening.

I've got to take my kid to the school, right? Which means I have to leave my house by 8 o'clock. It's 7:20. I think, oh, I have to wake myself up. I need to have a shower. I go into the bathroom. I've got my phone with me. Of course I've got my phone with me. We're hermetically connected to each other, just like everyone else. Everyone else who has a smartphone can't put them down. I'm not proud of it. That's just the way it is. I take the phone with me. Now, because there have been incidents of my phone calling you in the past and you claiming that I butt-dialed you or something from the shower.

I've never claimed it was from the shower, 'cause it's not like I can see where you are when you call me.

No, no, no.

This is your claim that it's from the shower.

But you can hear. If sometimes—

No, it doesn't always connect.

Does it not?

No, it sometimes just stops immediately. This morning it rang twice. Very loudly. 'Cause I have the old style phone ring on it. You know the— Goddamn turkey sound.

So let me just, I'll just describe what I do, right? And you can tell me where I'm going wrong. I take the phone, right? And because there've been incidents in the past, I make sure I'm not gonna play a podcast while I have a shower. Normally I would like to listen to a podcast in the shower. I don't do that. I put it on the shelf. Above the basin. So where you brush your teeth, you know, where you put all the toothbrush and thing. I put it right there. And then I get into the shower. And when I'm in the shower, I cannot reach, well, without sort of stretching quite a bit, that shelf. Right?

So you're saying you're physically not touching your phone when it calls me?

Physically not touching the phone. And I'm there in the shower and I've got shampoo on my hair and go doo doo doo.

Have you set up an alarm to say, hey, call Kroll every morning at 10 to 7?

No, no, no, no. The only alarm I have is to wake me up in the morning, which is 7 o'clock whatever.

Do you have a shower before you have a cup of coffee? Oh no, you don't have any coffee, so you don't have any caffeine in your system. So you're just a blurry mess and we're supposed to trust you.

I put it on the shelf. I get into the shower, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, right? Scrub, scrub, scrub. And out of the corner of my eye, if I'm listening to a podcast at this point, what happens is the podcast gets quieter because it's trying to make a FaceTime call to you. The phone is making a FaceTime, so the podcast goes quiet. And I can hear it going, right? It's trying to ring you.

Yeah. I'm covered in suds. No, no, no, no. You're covered in suds trying to reach the phone to turn off the call.

But it's not— Yes. Yes. Yes.

Now, you think, aha, I've disturbed her enough.

Now on this particular morning, right? I haven't got a podcast playing, 'cause I'm very aware that something's going on. It's just on the shelf, but out the corner of my eye, I see that it is making now, and I hear a boop, boop, boop. It is making the call to you. And so I reach over with my sudsy finger and I go, dink, right? And I say, stop, right? I say, end call, because I think, oh crumbs, you know, Carole won't be up yet. Stop that happening. And then I carry on with my shower, and then I see it happen again. This morning it happened twice, didn't it?

Perhaps your phone has been infiltrated by a listener who is just trying to stir the pot, so to speak, and make me hate you.

Well, I'm wondering—

Because it's working. Just saying.

I'm wondering if there's something with the resonation of the sound of falling water in my particular bathroom, which is sort of activating Siri and making Siri think FaceTime the last person you FaceTimed, and it's calling you.

Call, crawl.

But I don't know how to stop it, Carole.

Okay, well, number one, it would be really good if you didn't just hang up each time.

Would it? Yes, just stop it. But you don't want to hear me in the shower.

No, I just want to hear the mea culpas. I want to hear you go, I'm really, really sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I'm really, really sorry. So that, you know, if my other half's there, he can kind of go, okay, it's not her fault.

But I was thinking that maybe that'd wake you up more, 'cause it would ring for longer, wouldn't it?

You could whisper it. And then hang up.

So, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So here's my suggestion, right? First of all, I think we should mention this on the podcast and we should see—

No, first of all, really sorry, Carole. Really, really sorry, Carole.

No, I am sorry.

Don't take it for granted. Let me enjoy that moment.

I'm sorry, but I want to know why it's happening. I want to know if it's happening to other people. Making random calls, maybe if they're in the shower. But the other thing is, I think maybe you could come round sometime on location to my place. We can go to the bathroom and we can simulate me having a shower. I won't actually get undressed or anything that, but we'll put them and we'll see if it happens.

Yeah. Yeah.

It does seem to normally happen the same time of day, but maybe that's because that's when I have a shower.

Yeah, well, I'll think about that. Sounds fun. Thanks for the offer.

It is weird though. It's almost like I don't want to wash it.

Oh yeah, that's the first word that comes to my mind too. Weird. So I have to go.

All right. Okay.

Busy day today. Busy, busy, busy.

All right. Okay. See you then.

Okay. Good luck. Yeah.

Okay.

Bye. Bye.

Don't call me anymore.